Is He Sleeping Through The Night?

I hate when people ask me the dreaded “Is he sleeping through the night?”. For one, it’s none of your damn business. Secondly, you know they are waiting for you to say no, so then they can offer their advice or their platitudes or worse: both. Normally I can shut the person up fairly quickly when I respond to their platitudes with “Well, it’s not really that bad. He sleeps with me, so I just whip out my boob (which, let’s face it, is probably already hanging out. If I even have a shirt on in the first place.) hook him up and fall back to sleep.” 

 

But, the truth is… it is a big deal. Not the ‘not sleeping through the night’ part, that doesn’t really bother me; (Except that lately it’s EVERY TWO HOURS.) it’s the getting him to bed. Sometimes, when he first goes down, it’s every hour. Or half hour. And then there’s the fact that recently it’s taking me 1 -2 hours to get him to sleep. And I still have yet to eat dinner, drink a beverage, fold three baskets of laundry, wash a butt-load of diapers, and clean the dinner dishes. To the dinner I haven’t gotten to eat yet. Not to mention the fact that I’d like a few minutes to play on the internet, write my blog post, write my novel, sit quietly on the sofa.

 

I know that he’s teething, and he has a cold. But, lately bedtime is brutal. I nurse him, he falls asleep, I go for the crib transfer (our bed is really high, I don’t really like him in it alone; the crib is next to the bed), he wakes up. I snuggle him, he falls asleep, I try again for the crib transfer, he wakes up. We snuggle, he falls asleep, I decide ‘fuck the crib’ and surround him with pillows on the bed. I go downstairs and collapse on the sofa and turn on an episode of Revenge. Before it’s even over, I hear him crying over the monitor. Repeat the above.

 

I just want a block of 3 hours when he goes to sleep to clean, write, and relax. I don’t care when he wakes up at night. That doesn’t bother me (Well, I mean, it sucks but it is what it is.). But, I need those three hours in order to be a functioning mom. Lately, I’ve been giving up and just going to bed with him. Which means, I don’t get any alone time. Which means, with Rob’s schedule, that it is All About H from the moment I wake up he wakes me up to the moment we fall asleep together. And don’t get me wrong, it should be & I love it, but I need some time to myself! Not to mention, time to keep our house remotely habitable!

 

But, I know it will pass. I know that he will get used to the crib. I know that his teething and cold will go away. And I know that one day I will look back and long for the days when we just cuddled each other from dawn till dusk. And until he falls asleep easier and stays asleep longer I will soak up every snuggle, be thankful for every teary mama*, and rejoice in every sleepy smile.

 

*(ok, ok… lately it’s more of an ‘ahma’… way to nitpick and ruin the sentimentality of the last paragraph be-otch! ;))

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6 thoughts on “Is He Sleeping Through The Night?

  1. Boy, i could’ve written this entry myself! You’ve described us EXACTLY. I tried the whole nurse to sleep and then transfer to the crib early on… maybe at 3 or 4 months? I gave up on that quickly, and he’d just stay up with me until either him or i was too tired to be awake, and we’d go to sleep together. Then, he started needing bedtime earlier and earlier, so instead of the crib transfer, i’d sit on the couch, him in my lap, nurse him to sleep, and then i’d sit there with him sleeping on me and watch tv, or fall asleep. Now, at just 9 and a half months, i’ve started trying to crib transfer again. I do bedtime routine — bath, pj’s, book, play, nurse in the glider, and then transfer to crib. ONE night, he slept until 1am, and i actually got time to roll around my bed sleeping by MYSELF. Every other night since then, he’s slept MAYBE an hour or two, and occasionally i’d be able to put him back down for another half hour before he’d be in my bed for the rest of the night. I love cosleeping, but i’m starting to feel it, too. I need a LITTLE time. We’re literally up together every second of the day. When he wakes up in the morning (usually 4 or 5am) we get up together. We play together, eat together, nap together, and then go to bed together at night. WE EVEN SHOWER TOGETHER. I feel it weighing on me. I don’t get time to blog, write emails, read websites, cook, clean, shower, sleep… and i NEVER go out without him. And time with my husband? JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN. I’d be happy if he went to sleep in his crib even until midnight, and then we slept/nursed the rest of the night. Thank you for writing this entry — it feels good to know i’m not alone.

    • You most definitely are NOT alone! Sometimes I wonder if some of the people who claim that they’re baby sleeps through the night are lying… but, I guess maybe they could just be lucky! I’m sure we’ll both get some sleep soon!

  2. Evalyn didn’t sleep through the night consistently until she was over a year old. And damn, it was HARD. Especially because of everoyne always asking about it …. I finally just got to where I’d say “We do just fine” … and leave it at that. I’m hoping he’ll give you a break and drift to sleep easier for you, soon. Mama does need some down time.

  3. Alexa was a terrible sleeper till about 20 months so I feel your pain. I never mastered any alone naps or sleeps till after her first year so you’re ahead of where I was! Have you tried side-carring the crib to your bed, or getting bedrails so you don’t have to transfer? Not sure if those are things you’d want to consider. Honestly if Alexa would’ve slept AT ALL in her crib in the first year I would’ve taken every.single.opportunity to get her in there HA!

    Do you know I actually lost a *friend* over the sleeping-through debate? She insisted that when I posted links about kids not sleeping through being normal (because HELLO many adults don’t, they just know how to put themselves back to bed, or not bother anyone if they can’t sleep), she took offense. She thought I was calling her a liar because her twins slept. I didn’t bother to point out that she bottle fed (hi I couldn’t BF twins so whatever works mama) but that meant that they had bellies full of formula and didn’t have the attachment to the boob that mine did. People are effin’ crazy over baby sleep schedules!

    • The crib won’t attach to our bed. I might be able to get side rails, but they’re probably too expensive. Right now I barricade with pillows, but I’m thinking about putting the bed into storage and just putting the mattress on the floor for safety. People really do get very weird about sleep. And all of their “advice”; I’m not going to feed him formula or rice cereal to make him sleep longer, and I’m not going to make him cry it out!

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